JPMorgan debuts office layout—and gets roasted for “monitor hell”
“Are these for cage free or free range analysts?”
Greetings!
Here are the latest trending internet culture stories today:
A new photo from inside JPMorgan’s NYC offices has sparked discussion online, pop culture gossip lovers are completely obsessing over Lily Allen’s breakup album, and Rob Schneider popped up out of Sandlerverse obscurity to say some stupid things on X.
See you in the next one,
— W.J.
⚡️ Today in Internet Culture
“Packed in like sardines”: Photo of JPMorgan’s new NYC headquarters mocked for its unique, quadruple-monitor setup
“Congratulations @jpmorgan on the opening of your new headquarters!” Michael Dell wrote, sharing a picture of rows and rows of Dell monitors crammed together in a workspace that would give any white collar worker nightmares about being just another cog in the machine.
The image matches up well with something Business Insider called out about the headquarters back in August—that JPMorgan is telegraphing its expectations for relentless productivity and in-office presence through the way it’s been constructed.
Lily Allen’s breakup album “West End Girl” has fans laughing, crying, and meme-posting all at once
Lily Allen’s new album West End Girl arrived with the energy of a diary entry written in real time. Recorded in just ten days, it captured the end of her four-year marriage to Stranger Things actor David Harbour. It was a split Allen described as both confusing and cathartic. She was clear that not every lyric is literal, saying she “wasn’t sure what was real, and what was in my head,” but the emotional punch still landed hard.
Critics have praised the record as a sharp, witty mix of heartbreak and humor. Across tracks that swing from flamenco to glossy pop, Allen narrates a slow breakup filled with missed calls, open-relationship “agreements,” and the gut-punch discovery of “a shoebox full of handwritten letters from brokenhearted women.”
Rob Schneider gets dragged after claiming there were “NO Children’s Hospitals” when he was growing up
Actor Rob Schneider is getting attention the only way he knows how to these days—by saying mind-numbingly stupid things on the internet. On Thursday, Schneider took to X to make the wild claim that “there were NO Children’s Hospitals when I was a kid. Because kids weren’t sick.”
Schneider was born in 1963. There were children’s hospitals in the U.S. in the ’60s. Children also got sick in that particular era, as they have in every era of human history.
🕸️ Crawling the Web
👟 A California sneaker store owner’s desperate plea about the collapsing resale market has gone viral, sparking debate about whether luxury streetwear is facing a permanent shift.
🍝 When Olive Garden brought back its beloved Never-Ending Pasta Bowl this fall, diners wasted no time testing its limits, much to the chagrin of servers everywhere.
🏳️🌈 A delivery driver’s exaggerated reaction to accidentally brushing against a Pride flag has gone viral, turning what was likely meant as anti-LGBT content into an online roast.
🎃 Kim Kardashian and North West paid homage to the next gen of influencers with their niche Halloween costume this year.
👖 A TikToker has inadvertently started a painful discussion about “historically accurate” millennial-era low-rise jeans.
🥿 13 incredible and absurd brand collaborations with Crocs in honor of “Croctober.”
🔥 Hot on the Dot
This was the most-read story on the Daily Dot yesterday:
➤ “High value” guy dumps girlfriend because she wore heels and looked taller